My Blog

This is my personal blog that I write purely for the enjoyment of it. In it you’ll find various topics that include helpful lists, random rants, sports topics, movie and video game reviews, or anything else I feel I need to share with the world.

2013 Told through Picture

2013 was a great year for pictures. Thanks to the internet, smartphones, and social media apps we have become a collective consciousness of information. Over the last few years we have essentially been creating a long chain of breadcrumbs that will show our ancestors how our entertainment and imagination evolves over time. In doing so, we are becoming our own authors, in a highly detailed account of our lives. To me these are the pictures that stood out, and gave me my own little moments in 2013. Most made me smile, many made me laugh, and a few made me think.

5 Rules to Follow to Win any Text Message Argument

In the age of information texting has become the preferred method of conversation. It’s become a great way to skip all the small talk and get to the point. These types of conversations are easy to start and just as easy to end. However, when it comes to arguing with someone through text messages it can be difficult and frustrating. This is especially true if it is with a loved one or hated enemy.

This is why I have devised the following 5 rules everyone should follow when they are having an argument with someone else through text. This simple guideline should help you win any argument and bring the art of debate to your fingertips. Please remember I said help. Rules and guidelines can only help so much, if your argument is retarded that’s on you.

Worst Arguer. Ever.

Rule 1: Emoji Suicide

The simple fact is that emojis won’t help you prove a point, so don’t use them. You ever try winking at someone during a face to face argument? Yeah, it doesn’t work too great does it. Same goes for texting. During a heated exchange you may make points that the other person will strongly disagree with and piss them off. The last thing they want to see is a fucking winky face. Winning an argument is about making the other person change their view or bow to your power and knowledge, not break their phone like the Hulk grabbing hold of Loki.

The only time an emoji should ever be used is if it is after the closing point. That is the only time an emoji will be beneficial or effective to you and your argument. Otherwise you will come off looking immature, or even worse that you are not invested in the argument.

Your argument is invalid.

Rule 2: Use Proper Grammar

I can’t stress this enough. You ever try having an argument with someone that is speaking like they learned to talk just by listening to Nicki Minaj albums or watching reruns of The Jersey Shore? People that cannot articulate their words and sentences automatically sound like dipshits to most people with half a brain. No one likes arguing with stupid, because smart people know that is an argument you can never win.

The same goes for text messages. Using slang or abbreviated expressions is fine during normal conversational text. However, when you are trying to prove a point that requires you to explain something to someone else you will lose credibility immediately.

It is not just the slang I am talking about either. If you don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your” yet, please save us all the trouble and throw your phone away. Better yet, after all the jokes that have been done on that subject online still hasn’t sunk in go ahead and throw away any device that gives you an internet connection, and please stop reading this blog. The last thing I need to do is give idiots more firepower to blast our brain cells with.

We’ve all been there…

Rule 3: Take your Time

This isn’t a face to face fight where the quicker wit has an advantage. This can be a drawn out argument that takes place over a few hours or even days. Texting is great because we can always text back at our leisure because more than likely we are involved doing other things like working or raising ungrateful children. We really have no idea what the other person is doing at the exact moment you text them, remember that next time you stare at your phone waiting for a response.

Texting is also great for people that love to put their foot in their mouth. Rather than just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind you can take your time in giving a response. Think about what you are saying or try reading it out loud before you hit send. Everyone has those moments after an argument where you curse yourself because you could have said something so much better. During a text there is nothing wrong with editing it a few times if it means you have a greater chance of sticking it to them good.

Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!

Rule 4: Don’t Drink and Text

This rule is the most obvious, but unfortunately the only people who never follow this rule are people who don’t drink, do drugs, or have sex. Which leaves everyone out except toddlers and infants. Although in this day and age who knows. Either way it’s a very hard rule to follow because losing your inhibitions is a real bitch when you have access to text messaging. No one can smell your breath or see how sloppy you are, and it doesn’t help that your argumentative side gets enlarged three sizes like the Grinch’s heart.

The best advice I can give you to help you follow this rule is just to learn to turn your phone off when you get blackout drunk. Best case scenario is you are one of those idiots that lose their phones every time you get drunk. You know that is you if you have more insurance on your cell phone than your car.

Available on the iPhone Never.

Rule 5: Never Send the Last Text

This is the most important rule of all and should be obeyed at all costs. It is more important than all the other rules before it, and will help you win arguments even if you are wrong. It will also save you many a sleepless night and give you all the power if followed.

Once again, this isn’t a face to face conversation or a phone call where someone always has to get the last word. When it comes to texting it is the exact opposite. The last thing you ever want to do is send a text that never gets replied to. Try to stay away from asking questions that people will not want to answer, but rather try to make statements. No one is going to incriminate themselves during an argument, always remember that. Words can be forgotten, but texts can be saved FOREVER!

Having the power in any argument or fight is very important. You can easily turn the tables on someone if you control the flow of the conversation. This is true in person, on the phone, and through texts.

Lastly, always remember to save an ace up your sleeve for just this moment. The coup de gras of any argument should be your strongest point. It is also what will leave a lasting impression on the other person and when they try in vain to write you back, and you don’t answer, you know the battle is yours.

The only proper way to use a last word text.

2012 is Gone, Welcome to the Future

Another year has passed in which another year we have grown older. To the dismay of many, our civilization still moves on even after another apocalyptic prediction did not come to pass. 2012 was filled with many new milestones in our lives. Some of them important, others unrealized.

We re-elected a president that some were happy with and others were not. We landed another rover on Mars the size of a car. Some hope it will save our not so beloved space program while others believe it to be a waste of money. Unfortunately  music took another step backwards as talent-less singers and groups got force fed to the masses like the slop we eat. For both movies and video games it was the year of sequels. Some of them brilliant, others atrocious.

Instant Classics

Many new lives were brought into this world and for the most part the many that I saw were planned as opposed to being pregnant at 16. With the new life came the deaths of many great minds and talents. Some were natural, others were tragic, but all will be missed. Among them a talented singer turned crackhead, a famous general of modern warfare, a boxing icon, a famous artist of light, the first man to walk on the moon, and countless actors and actresses that have gained their immortality through film and TV. All who have shaped our world in one way or another and will be seen again through time.

Marijuana was legalized in a few states. Which to some is a move in the right direction, away from outdated laws that no longer make sense. However, to others it is just more proof of a decaying drug fueled society that can’t seem to take care of itself. Tragedy after tragedy was placed upon many of us as one person after another went on senseless murderous rampages that proved to us once again how selfish our race can be. Wars all over the world carried on, and natural disasters reminded us once again who the baddest kid on the block is.

I can finally wear my weed hat in two states!

I am grateful for a great many things this year and I am proud to have witnessed the great many human events. I have laughed and I have cried. I have been filled with both rage and joy, and have had both things gained and taken away. Although at the end of the day I always found peace. There is only so much we can do. Only so much change we can make or accept in a year.

I find the new year is a great time for introspection. Individually we must examine how we have grown or shrunk, and collectively we must always press on. The universe never stops churning, with or without us.

Our busy days filled with the need to chase financial gains so we can buy the things we want and do the things that make us happy. Even if the chase itself can be miserable we must follow our dreams and fight our nightmares. Hopefully we learned from the mistakes of 2012 and can pass that knowledge on to next year. How you and I remember 2012 is a personal view, but the events and lives that took place over the last 365 days have formed us. They are eternal and will never change.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 Review – Opening a can of Trolls

I’ve never been one for midnight releases for anything let alone video games. Just the idea of going shopping on Black Friday makes me want to throat punch a baby. That being said, I was excited about the game and I even pre-ordered Call of Duty: Black Ops 2. I had every intention of going to pick it up on the release night, but when I saw a line of about hundred people standing outside of the store I turned my car around and went home disappointed. Moral of the story, nothing is so good you can’t wait until the next day for it. Now enough about me ranting about the sociological impact of the human need to be the first at everything.

These aren’t zombies, they’re Black Friday shoppers. Fun!

I started my online multiplayer experience with Call of Duty: World at War back in 2007. I’ve played games like Everquest before on the computer, but this was my first FPS that I would play against human opponents. It was fast paced and addictive, and I’ll be honest I sucked at first. It took me quite a bit of time to get killstreaks regularly and by the time that happened my K/D ratio was in the toilet. So much so that in the upcoming installments of the franchise my main objective was my K/D ratio.

We live and learn though. As my online friend base expanded I started to learn that K/D was not everything. Especially playing in a team dynamic. It wasn’t until the first Black Ops came out that my experience started to change.  Playing modes like Domination and Headquarters became the staple and it was all about winning games no matter how ugly your K/D was.  That is the one thing that Black Ops 2 is moving every player towards. They want a more enjoyable experience not for just the good players, but for the so-called “noobs” too.

Yeah, I’m sure he’s an avid gamer…

For example, Killstreaks are no more. They have been replaced by the much friendlier sounding Scorestreaks. It’s kind of a mix between the different killstreak types they had in Modern Warfare 3, but with less of a selection. I don’t mind it either, because it makes the people you play with now more helpful during the game.

The class system too has had an overhaul. Every class now is based on a 10 point system. Meaning that you have 10 points to assign different things to for each class. For instance, a primary weapon costs a point, and each perk costs a point. It leads to some interesting class builds and really breaks the mold on how you can create your individual style for play. The only real disappointment I have with it is they have removed the Perk Pros. Yes, they were incredibly hard to get in the original Black Ops, but that’s what made them cool. Not everyone always had them unlocked and already having the real difficult ones unlocked was a huge deciding factor on when someone would prestige.

Prestiging itself has become easier as well. With a level cap of 55 it’s easy to get there and now when you unlock a gun during a prestige run all the attachments that you have unlocked previously are now available. I’ve always been a prestiger though. I need some kind of leveling system in a game for me to play it long term no matter what the genre is. Otherwise I just get bored with a game and stop playing it all together.

My only real complaint about the multiplayer is that the knifing system is simply atrocious. I can’t tell you how many times I have missed with that fucking thing. It just does not have a good  hit sensor on it and even if you are in someone’s face you can miss. My favorite is when you sneak up on a sniper and miss him twice in the back at point blank range just for him to turn around and quick scope you. It is definitely a part of the game that needs to be patched.

For those who pick up this game for the campaign mode will also not be disappointed. It is simply gorgeous and has a wealth of varied gameplay from riding horses to flying in a wing-suit. The most noticeable change, however, is the addition of a choose your own path story. It’s not as deep as say an RPG, but it’s a first for Call of Duty and a welcomed upgrade. I didn’t even finish Modern Warfare 3’s campaign mode and in the short time I’ve played this one I have really enjoyed it. All that is left is for them to add co-op play.

Riding a horse felt very “Last Crusade-ish”

Zombies once again makes its round in Black Ops 2. Honestly I am surprised they haven’t made this a separate game entirely yet? I can see CEOs with dollar signs in their eyes saying, “let’s make twice the amount of money makng two games instead of one!” I personally loved the zombies in all previous Treyarch games and it’s the same this go around. It is a game mode that truly needs uniformed teamwork to get far into. The easter eggs are fun to find and the overall atmosphere has always been creepy. This time around they opened up the zombie world a bit more. The Tranzit board is massive and gives you a real world experience. You travel around on a bus and venture from one place to another. Most of this mode’s play-style remains intact with the addition of both a place to save weapons and money for future playthroughs. This, in my opinion, is a true game changer. Just imagine starting a zombies game with weapons and money!

If you have surround sound or a good pair of headphones one of things that will surprise you is the sound. The sound effects in this game are simply incredible. Whatever they did to change the sound of each explosion during a battle is a huge difference. Every time a grenade goes off or a car explodes it sounds so realistic. It’s not longer like those cheesy action movies where every punch that or every sword that is drawn is incredibly absurd. Kudos to Treyarch for this small and maybe unnoticeable improvement to the overall quality of the game.

In a movie this punch would sound like a nuclear bomb going off…

With all the improvements that Treyarch made with the new game, my biggest gripe however is that they dumbed the game down way to much. This is a recent trend I’m noticing with developers once a game gains popularity. They have done the same thing with games like Mass Effect 2, Dragon Age 2, and Skyrim. These are games that were deep and involving that took me hours to learn the interface, but then were turned into simple point and click menus. I understand why it’s done, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s not my problem some casual gamers will get turned off from the difficulty. If that’s your thing go get a Nintendo, and stop with the pussification of hardcore games.

Over all I give Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 a 8.5 severed heads out of 10. It’s fast, addictive, and looks gorgeous. The new class system works great in multiplayer and the ability to choose you own path in the campaign mode is a welcomed addition. Zombies also adds another layer of fun that the Modern Warfare games miss out on. Once again Treyarch has outshone their Modern Warfare contemporaries and shown them there is a better way to make the same game.

Skyfall Review – Shaken, Not Turd

Let me start off by saying I have grown up watching Bond films my whole life. The first ever in a theater was, A View to Kill. At the time Roger Moore was the first cool British person I ever saw. Prior to that I was only exposed to Mary Poppins and the like. Along with all the customary gadgets you expect, it also had the quintessential henchman in Grace Jones. She honestly scared the shit out of me. And don’t get me started on her in Conan.

My first ever boner-killer

Since that day I watched every Bond movie that was ever made and played every video game no matter how good or bad they were. That being said, I am not biased when it comes to quality.  I know shit when I see it, and Skyfall is by far not a shitty movie.

When Daniel Craig was first cast to play James Bond I thought it was a great move. Seeing him in previous films like Layercake showed me he had incredible screen presence and  could do both dramatic and action scenes. I had no problem with a blonde Bond either. However, I was honestly blown away by his first franchise appearance in Casino Royale. Rebooting the series was a great move, and I think it was well suited to introduce Bond to a newer audience.

The movie starts off with a great opening action scene, which is a must in any Bond film. Skyfall got a lot of things right, but this maybe was their biggest. Anytime you get the audience to clap is a good sign. I couldn’t help but make the comparison to You Only Live Twice. A movie that Sean Connery came back to do during Roger Moore’s run(something that is unheard of today). In both movies an aging James Bond is presumably killed in the opening scene only to come back with a vengeance.  However, the whole surprise I’m not dead after getting shot and falling head first off a high bridge into water is a little too unbelievable even for a Bond film. But bond films have always had a little hokeyness. It’s the charm of the main character and what makes him great.

And then this bitch cries about something

From there the movie slows down a bit. You get some espionage here and there and a big explosion. Then after the not so well placed alcohol advertisements about alcoholism bond comes back. He comes back as a broken old man. I mean he must have aged twenty years. For the Queen’s sake he has a grey beard! It’s actually a new take that I end up liking. You see a man that not only in the first twenty plus movies was a complete badass, but now he has doubt and is frustrated by his handicap. Even when lasers are pointed at his nuts Bond has always kept his cool. It was a surprising turn for a character that has never seemed soft.

This is where Daniel Craig’s acting skills were displayed so well. Acting throughout Skyfall was great. The villain played by a memorable Javier Bardem was a good counterpoint and helped the plot along nicely once he finally appeared half way through the film. There is a memorable scene with him and Craig that’s homoerotic, but not in a shock the audience way.

In fact the only character I had trouble watching was Judi Dench, who reprized her role as M. I don’t know if it was just me, but I couldn’t get past her teeth. I know the British stereotype could be said here, but its bad. Horror movie zombie bad. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a very good actress. But having to look at that grill on the big screen took me out of the movie every time.

Ugly wins Oscars apparently

Aside from Dench’s goblin teeth my biggest gripe with Skyfall is the exclusion of the infamous gadgets. The new Q, played by hipster looking Ben Whishaw, is an interesting take on the character. He’s definitely the youngest ever to play the part, and how he explains why they no longer make gadgets is viable. Come on though, contemporary espionage may mostly be fought online, but gadgets is what inspired all the kids over the last fifty years to want to be a spy. Oh, a gun that only Bond can shoot and a radio transmitter? That’s fucking bullshit. Why not just take the dinosaurs out of Jurassic Park? It’s great that they wanted to create a more viable plot and more rounded characters, but taking out the gadgets was a misstep. Going for an artsy-fartsy academy award winner is great and all, but at what expense?

Dinosaurs? What Dinosaurs?

Overall, Skyfall is a good film. It’s entertaining and the characters are fairly deep. However, it’s not a true Bond film. There are moments that are reminiscent like the banging of hot chicks and guys’ faces exploding, but Bond is more Jason Bourne than misogynistic super-spy. In fact, the most gadgets you see come from a prop that’s actually an older Bond car that true fans will love. And even though those moments are few and far between it’s enough to attain the essence of the mythological character James Bond.

For the younger audiences and non-fans it’s a refreshing breath that will definitely bring them back for more. Skyfall is another notch on the belt buckle of the twentieth century Hercules. This true British genre film is a huge part of American folk lore, and through it all he’s still the suave, ass-kicking, risk-taker we all end up growing to love. I give Skyfall four out of five martinis.